Blue bottles

I like making plans. It gives a sense of having done something while pretending to sleep during  the Enviro class. So today I made the following plans:-

I actually didn’t make any. I slept through class. Put my head on the desk and drooled on the vandalised desk. How cool am I that I had impressions of the desk on my chubby cheek?

Also I watched Heyy Babyy today. You have a right to judge me. I deserve it.

In my defence I offer that I didn’t enjoy it. And that I was disgusted, offended, indignant and bored all at once. Except when Shah Rukh Khan came on screen. He hot. Then I swooned and missed his appearance. He looks like a skinny girl from the backside.

I’ve done my penance. So there.

He’s right.

Is there some place where you would be yourself?

Where you can sit on the footpath ( not pavement) and have watery chai…

Where you can stare at buildings and plan your life around the ambition that those bulidings stir…

Where you can be utterly alone yet happy…

Where you can look into the bruised night sky and think of ones you love…

Where you walk to Work and you feel an overwhelming sense of well-being…

Where there is a promise of beauty in every corner you look…

Where a newspaper folds into the right size, comfortable enough to read standing…

Somewhere I belong.

Over a slice of buttered bread, I figured what I want and how.

The title ideally describes how I feel right now.  

I’m a good person. I work hard, I’m smart and sometimes I’m so lucky it astounds me.

And you should have seen me at this moot. I was troll-like, to be kind.

I’m not used to being ordinary. My parents didn’t bring me up this way.  We’re an insanely competitive family. Even amongst ourselves, we have to kick ass.

 Which is why we play Scrabble together on the computer because I used to fling the tiles around in aggression of missing ‘Aa’ in the triple word score. All because my brother used to place ‘Oa’ instead.

Like I was saying, we’re not the type of family that have scrolls which say ‘Participation is for the Real Winners’. We’re the type that puts trophies on a separate shelf and special-light it. I’m serious. Judge us, suckers. We’ll kick your butt at anything.

So now that you understand my background, you can understand why I’m so depressed about doing badly at this moot.

I can not believe that I can be this bad at something. Everything-can-be-mastered is my middle name.  But I’m unable to do well at mooting. Why, God, why?

Su says it is not neccesary for good debaters to be good mooters. I’m a national level debater. And I cannot beat second years at the Contracts case. Man. I suck some serious ass.  And Su’s right. As always.

I don’t know what I should do. I should probably go live under a bridge in a box. Smoke some weed and get an inappropriate boyfriend.

I’m sorry. I’m depressed and angry. You can’t get a better post out of me.  

We shall remember this day. For reasons many.